IT’S GREAT TO TALK ABOUT THIS IN CONCEPTUAL TERMS BUT YOUR PARTICIPATION REQUIRES A FOCUS TO YOUR EXPERIENCE.
Each challenge, problem, irritation, or dissatisfaction is an invitation to bring a sense of curiosity to your experience. Bring it into focus. Shine a light. Look at it. Write it down. Slow it down. Narrow it to a specific moment representative of that space.
We can’t look at all the situations, the decisions, and the moments at the same time. A relationship, short or long, is made up of moments indicative of the individuals and the patterns between them. The patterns, stories, triggers, and emotions that show up in one moment in time holds within it a microcosm of the larger story. I found out that the patterns, behaviors, and emotions that showed up within my first marriage revealed themselves to be the same patterns, behaviors and emotions that showed up in my life. The difference after focusing on these moments was that by creating a different relationship to them I became compassionate to the one who felt the need to play them out over and over. In that, I held the power to write my own script. You can’t change something if you don’t know it’s happening...understanding and awareness makes different choices possible.